I'm Tired

I’m tired of this version of my life. I’m over it. It’s not the running around, or endless dishes and laundry and meal prep and cleaning and being the Uber driver and the ATM, gardening or even the constant state of feeling like I’m always 2 steps behind where I ‘should’ be as a mom (I’m the type of mom that is buying the soccer shoes on the way to the first soccer practice because I forgot to put a reminder on my phone). None of that part of my life tires me. That’s the part people see and ask, ‘Do you ever stop?’

That is not why I’m tired. I am so tired of the maybes, one day, not right now and even let's see. I am tired of waiting for someone to give me the life I know I am worthy of. This version that keeps popping into my imagination when I get a moment to stop doing the dos, usually when driving from one place to the next or on my yoga mat, that’s when I see it so clearly. In this accelerated version of my life, I am embracing my passions and talents and they are so bright and shining for all to see and gain from. I can see it so clearly-book written, yoga business growing, beautiful life where I am proud of my accomplishments and absorb. I am tired of it always being over there, just out of reach. I can see it, hear it, smell it, even feel what I would feel emotionally in those places or situations. It is so close it feels like I have been there before. Some call it intuition or knowing. Mine has been perpetually screaming at me lately, to move, shift, and blast off. I’ve grown beyond or evolved my way out of sitting small and being content. There are things I came here to do. Things I need to accomplish, explore, observe and feel. I know I am worthy of it so I'm grabbing it myself. I am tired of waiting.